Long Hair, Don't Care...No Seriously

I've been thinking a lot lately about hair length and what it represents to us in the natural hair community. It all started from a conversation with another natural friend who asked how long I'd been natural. I almost didn't want to answer because I've been down this conversation before...

I think I mentioned before that I did a massive trim...that may have actually been a cut...back in October. I was just convinced that my ends were a hotter mess than they actually were. I can be fatalistic (i.e. dramatic) at times, meh! Anyway, I cut off about 3 inches back then.

The thing is that throughout the last 3 years of my journey, I've taken it upon myself to chop off between 2-3 inches on at least 3 separate occasions, not to mention the occasional 1/2 inch trim I'd give myself in the beginning. We're looking at anywhere from 7-11-ish inches that have lost to my Karissa Scissor-Happy-Hands. RIP Curls!

But, here's the thing now: I'm not disappointed with my length now at all. In that same conversation, my friend began to suggest ways for me to help my hair grow (well to help me retain more length). While appreciate the thought behind it (she was only trying to help), it got me to thinking more about how personal a hair journey can be and how different our expectations of beautiful hair can be as well.

Sometimes that definition of beautiful is not so much tied to how long we can grow our hair. I think it's awesome that so many Black women have taken up the challenge to prove that we can grow long hair too. But for me it's a little different.

I was length obsessed my first year. I'd stretch my poor little strands over my forehead almost weekly trying to measure the growth. Somewhere down the line I realized I needed to learn how to care for my hair and not just how to style it.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have it all the way down...but I've got a good handle on how to keep it healthy. I still need to tweak the way I detangle. I know I've got to deep condition more consistently than I do. Those things are more important to me and my journey. More important now than reaching any length goal. Now don't get me wrong, because I do sort of have a length "goal" in my mind - it's really a volume goal lol. But I know I have to master my hair care routine before I start worrying about getting to that goal, so I'm still taking my time and just enjoying the fact that I have my own beautiful hair on my head :-)

Reversion Anxiety: When Straight Hair Goes Wrong!

Reversion Anxiety: the fear that curls will not pop back after straightening; most often felt by naturals who avoid heat usage; becomes gradually more intense in the days and weeks following a meeting with the flat iron.

So, I decided to straighten my hair and I have to say...I am in LOVE big time! I tried to get a couple of different pictures throughout the process. I pre-pooed with almond oil, olive oil, and Giovanni 50/50 Moisture Conditioner, then shampooed with Giovanni's Avocado-something-something shampoo (yea I forget the name), deep conditioned and detangled with Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose. Then I applied some more almond oil and a bit of Fantasia heat protectant mostly at the ends and twisted it in 4 sections to stretch it without the blow dryer and let it air dry overnight. The next day I hit it with my Chi flat iron. The back section of my hair has a naturally looser curl so I only made one pass, two at most with the other sections and then a quick curl around a very low heat iron. I pin-curled it up and let it set until later that night and - ta-da!

But here's the real deal: while I'm in love with my new 'do the Reversion Anxiety has begun to set in! This morning I went for a walk with my rollers still snugly in place and about midway through I began to feel a bit of sweat on my scalp. At first I prayed for a breeze, hoping that my roots wouldn't end up...well looking like I came off the set of Roots. But then the real anxiety set in...if my roots didn't curl up, would that mean that I had damaged my curls beyond recognition?

My mind immediately flashed back to a conversation I had with Jaz last night about losing my curl pattern in my quest to "heat train" my hair. But with heat training, you retain your some of your curl pattern...with straight up damage it's just gone...no bueno! More importantly - no twist-outs - eek! What's a natural without a good twist-out?

Luckily, while all of this was running through my mind, I remembered that I am still on this journey of finding what works best for my hair. And while I am still learning, I finally do know how to nurse my hair to good health. So with that said, I'm going to enjoy my smooth style and enjoy whipping my hair back and forth while it lasts. And if I end up with some stringy straight ends (shudder) well I'll just have to figure it out when it comes. Our hair is so important to us as Black women, but it is definitely not all of who we are and that's a lesson that is far too important to forget, whether you're Kinky 'N Free or Straight 'N Natural :-)

Be-YOU-tiful

I just LOVE Dove's Real Beauty campaign. And the video above is one example of why. I was literally in tears when I realized what they were doing til the end of the video.

It's funny because last week, Jaz and I were researching the data behind the Beauty Treatments we offer in Kinky N' Free and came across a statistic that something like only 2% of women think they are beautiful. Jaz couldn't believe it so she went on a hunt to find a more accurate statistic. What she found was a study conducted by Dove that found a mere 2% increase, that only 4% of women think they are attractive.

I have spent my whole life struggling to accept my looks; that statistic didn't shock me. Maybe I'll write more about that later (I feel an itch coming on :-) But even beyond me, I have countless friends who are beautiful inside and out who, like these women, would describe themselves in a way to make you think they are much less attractive. 

Each of us is beautiful in our own way and to different people. I give Dove kudos for waking these women up to their own beauty and for igniting a desire to see it in myself.

Is Your Scalp Burning? Girl Relax!

Today at lunch I got into a conversation with some friends about the trials of relaxer application and I was once again reminded of why I stay Kinky N' Free.

Me: "You know when your scalp gets to burning so bad it almost feels icy and then you're sitting in the chair shivering?!?"

Friend 1: "Yea girl! I used to get up and do laps around the salon trying to just get some air to flow and cool my scalp down!"

Friend 2: "I just lean in that chair and go to my happy place." Leans back and demonstrates by blowing a stream of air through her lips.

Me: "And don't let the stylist ask if I'm ready to rinse out or if I can wait another 10 minutes! That internal struggle is something serious - do I burn these naps out or give up - no I'm a soldier - I'll burn - and you tell her to wait!"

Friend 1: "I'd tell her to let me do a couple of laps before hitting the wash bowl!"

This conversation made for a great laugh. I REALLY great, loud, got-us-some-funny-looks-at-the-restaurant kind of laugh. The thing is my two friends still rock relaxers, after walking down memory lane with them I couldn't be happier to be chemical free.

For me it's almost like being in a bad relationship: when you're in it you know it's bad, but you don't want to change it possibly because of how you'll look to other people. But when you get out, you can look back with friends and laugh about how crazy it was. And while I can't knock anyone else for their decision to relax their tresses, I can say with assurance that the girl who owns this scalp thinks relaxers are crazy and won't be going that route again :-)

Riss

Surprised, but... Not Surprised

Mmmhmm, it's a LENGTH check! Haven't had the chance to show ya'll my growth in a little over a year (I think:-/) .....sorry about that! But lets see where we at now with this #NaturalHair

I was a bit surprised to see the length my hair had reached, however I was not surprised. I'll tell you why......

Last year, I was reaaaaallllyy struggling with being as consistent as I had been the previous 18 months  with my haircare practices. Mainly because it had reached a length that forced me to rethink my regime. O.O
I didn't have time to wash it weekly with the usual technique that was causing my hair to prosper. I also couldn't detangle it with the usual technique because that just took foooorrrever. I decided that it was time to alter my flow, and see if I could minimize some of that "wash time." As a result, I went through some major hair changes and I sometimes thought that my hair wouldn't survive the transition. lol

Changes such as experiencing:

1. dandruff
2. dryness
3. More tangles and knotting
4. Weaker hair strands

ALL bad right?! So I thought.

I guess the transition wasn't as bad as I thought it was. It seemed like the changes in my regimen were causing my hair to really suffer rather than get better. But that was far from the truth. It reminds me of many times of transition that we experience in life when everything around us is changing, (relationships, career, family life, etc..) and sometimes it looks real bad so that it can eventually look real good. You feel me? My point is, where there is disorder, there is an opportunity to bring things into order! Yup you read me clearly, an OPPORTUNITY! An opportunity to make things better:-)

I thank God for this particular opportunity to make my hair thrive in a newer, more practical way considering its length. I changed my wash time to once a week with either poo or conditioner. Depends on how I feel and how much build up has occurred on my scalp that last week. Sometimes I can get away with a co-wash (that is, conditioner wash), but not much:-/ Most of the time its poo and deep condition on 3rd week of the month. This isn't really much of a change from what I was doing before, but what changed more was my technique! Funny thing is, as I'm typing this, Im realizing how foolish it was for me to think that what my hair needed in order to be properly cleansed would change simply because it got longer :-/ lol Silly me. Anywho, It was the technique that changed the most!

I now wash using my fingers only! Usually I start with rinsing it thoroughly and either detangling it in 8 jumbo twists using a conditioner with impeccable slip, and the harp technique that Kim Love from LuvNaturals taught me. OR I set it in 8 jumbo twists, apply poo to ONLY my scalp, massage it through, rinse, and THEN detangle using a conditioner. No matter which order I choose, I always end up with moisturizing and sealing in the end and preparing it for whatever style i'll be rocking the next morn :-) All of this only takes almost 1 hour and 30 minutes! This is EPIC because it used to take me about 4-6 hours to wash and detangle my hair! Yea.... I'm winning!

I learned so much about my hair during these transitioning phases and all in all, it turned out......well.....you'll see! Watch the vid!! ;-)

Hope everyone enjoyed their Easter Sunday! Remember, He lives!!!!! Yaaaaaayyy!! \o/ #TeamJesus #Kinkynfree


- Jaz

Feed Your Hair!

Source

I found this while perusing Pinterest...as if one could actually just peruse Pinterest and not actually be sucked in...I spent almost 3 hours on there pinning natural hairstyles and walked away with the decision to start locs soon...

Anyway, I found this infographic and thought it was pretty cool. Getting the right vitamins and nutrients (and of course enough H2O) is important for healthy hair, skin, and nails...and well just a healthy you!

Enjoy!

-Riss

BlissfulRiss: Must'a Forgot

I am still on a Resurrection Weekend high! I've read the story of the Resurrection hundreds of times..okay that may be an exaggeration...but I've read it a lot and this time it was like I read it with fresh eyes and in turn I gained some fresh perspective on where I am in my journey to bliss.

One of my New Year's resolutions was to lose the weight I've been carrying around for the last few years. I set up some mini-goals for myself along the way which are more for me than for you, so I digress. Anywho. While I have lost an amount that shall remain undisclosed at this time, I have not been losing at a rate that I'd like and that occasionally gets discouraging. Okay more than occasionally. Maybe more than discouraging. When you factor in visits from friends and family, late night snack attacks with the girls, and the occasional PMS craving for a whole cake from The Chocolate Bar (which I have yet to give into...only by the grace of God lol)...I have spent several of the past few weeks in tears because making PERMANENT CHANGE happen is hard. Really hard.

I find myself boo-hooing, and woe-is-me-ing, and dangerously close to upending my other resolution to be kinder to myself this year. On those days when I am scraping at the bottom of my resolve, I so easily forget that I have promise. A promise that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. A promise that all will be well in my body as it is in my my soul. A promise to myself to feed and care for my body as Christ does the body of believers (the church). Yea that's powerful stuff, but I forget sometimes. And I revert to crying over what looks like a lost dream. I bet the disciples thought their dreams had been lost that day when Jesus took His last breath on the cross...

See Jesus told His disciples that He would be killed and be buried, but He also promised them He would rise three days later. This weekend I heard the pastor of The429 here in Houston preach that he would have been posted up outside the tomb waiting for Jesus to get up with a countdown and everything. I'd like to think I'd be there too. I'd like to think that after watching Jesus perform miracle after miracle after miracle that if He said He'd get up from the grave, I'd believe and be ready and waiting with a "Haha I told you my He'd do it." But like the disciples, sometimes I waver.

Sometimes I get so caught up in my own emotions over what looks like a dead dream or a dead future that I forget what God has promised me. Just like He promised to rise from the grave, He promises to raise us into new life as well. All He really asks us to do is to believe.

With that in mind I know I've got to keep working at what I want for my mind, body, and spirit to the best of my ability, but I've also got to keep believing in what I've been promised. That's what faith's all about ya know?

- Riss

Check out more posts from Riss at www.blissfulriss.blogspot.com.