A Beautiful Creation

So I was browsing the Interwebs the other day and came across an article about a guy who very disrespectfully took and posted the above picture of a Sikh woman, Balpreet Kaur, with the comment, "i'm not sure what to conclude from this." He posted the pic and his comment on the website reddit.com (which happens to be known for some pretty sketchy Internet interactions anyway).

As you can see from the picture Kaur is a woman who has facial hair.To the young beauties reading this: yea other people have it too and though it's perfectly acceptable to get rid of it, there's nothing wrong if you've got a few strays growing from your face - it's nature boo thang! To any gents who may be reading this too: sorry to shock you, but that white cream your girlfriend is sporting above her lip is not a lip treatment - it's made to disintegrate any trace of a 'stache from her upper lip!

Anyway, Kaur responded to the post and schooled EVERYBODY! Here's what she had to say:

Hey, guys. This is Balpreet Kaur, the girl from the picture. I actually didn't know about this until one of my friends told on facebook. If the OP wanted a picture, they could have just asked and I could have smiled :) However, I'm not embarrased or even humiliated by the attention [negative and positve] that this picture is getting because, it's who I am. Yes, I'm a baptized Sikh woman with facial hair. Yes, I realize that my gender is often confused and I look different than most women. However, baptized Sikhs believe in the sacredness of this body - it is a gift that has been given to us by the Divine Being [which is genderless, actually] and, must keep it intact as a submission to the divine will. Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikhs do not reject the body that has been given to us. By crying 'mine, mine' and changing this body-tool, we are essentially living in ego and creating a seperateness between ourselves and the divinity within us. By transcending societal views of beauty, I believe that I can focus more on my actions. My attitude and thoughts and actions have more value in them than my body because I recognize that this body is just going to become ash in the end, so why fuss about it? When I die, no one is going to remember what I looked like, heck, my kids will forget my voice, and slowly, all physical memory will fade away. However, my impact and legacy will remain: and, by not focusing on the physical beauty, I have time to cultivate those inner virtues and hopefully, focus my life on creating change and progress for this world in any way I can. So, to me, my face isn't important but the smile and the happiness that lie behind the face are. :-) So, if anyone sees me at OSU, please come up and say hello. I appreciate all of the comments here, both positive and less positive because I've gotten a better understanding of myself and others from this. Also, the yoga pants are quite comfortable and the Better Together tshirt is actually from Interfaith Youth Core, an organization that focuses on storytelling and engagement between different faiths. :) I hope this explains everything a bit more, and I apologize for causing such confusion and uttering anything that hurt anyone.

When I read, "Just as a child doesn't reject the gift of his/her parents, Sikh's do not reject the body that was given to us" I almost jumped out of my chair! I LOVE IT! While we may not share the same religious views, I know that the God I serve has also called us to accept who we are and to love ourselves as we are. He has told us not to defile our bodies because we are literally leasing out the space to His Holy Spirit The second command that Jesus gives next to loving God, we must love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The implication there is that we first love ourselves before we can love some else. We learn to love ourselves through the love of God...ahhh it's all a beautiful cycle really! Dude. With all of that, you've got to love and appreciate this body you're in whether it's "too" hairy, skinny, fat, splotchy, dimpled, WHATEVER. Love you boo! But I digress.

Kaur gets it all the way right in that she knows that her looks do not define her beauty and who she truly is. I've got to say her inner beauty shines through so much in her letter...geeze I think even in the picture she is beautiful and knowing how she feels about herself and about her worship is even more beautiful to me. I also admire how gracious she was in this situation. I don't know that I would have been as kind in my response if I had been attacked in this way. But again, I think we could all take a page from her book in learning to show grace even to those who wrong us. Kaur did not berate, shame, or condemn the young man, though some would say she is well within her right to do so. Instead she confidently educated him on the truth of who she is and what she believes. We as women, especially those of us who put our faith in Christ, should be so bold to stand up for who we know we are. You're beautiful now - flaws and alll - don't let anyone fool you into thinking otherwise. And if they try, like Kaur, meet them where they are with grace and truth :-)

Riss

Long Hair, Don't Care...No Seriously

I've been thinking a lot lately about hair length and what it represents to us in the natural hair community. It all started from a conversation with another natural friend who asked how long I'd been natural. I almost didn't want to answer because I've been down this conversation before...

I think I mentioned before that I did a massive trim...that may have actually been a cut...back in October. I was just convinced that my ends were a hotter mess than they actually were. I can be fatalistic (i.e. dramatic) at times, meh! Anyway, I cut off about 3 inches back then.

The thing is that throughout the last 3 years of my journey, I've taken it upon myself to chop off between 2-3 inches on at least 3 separate occasions, not to mention the occasional 1/2 inch trim I'd give myself in the beginning. We're looking at anywhere from 7-11-ish inches that have lost to my Karissa Scissor-Happy-Hands. RIP Curls!

But, here's the thing now: I'm not disappointed with my length now at all. In that same conversation, my friend began to suggest ways for me to help my hair grow (well to help me retain more length). While appreciate the thought behind it (she was only trying to help), it got me to thinking more about how personal a hair journey can be and how different our expectations of beautiful hair can be as well.

Sometimes that definition of beautiful is not so much tied to how long we can grow our hair. I think it's awesome that so many Black women have taken up the challenge to prove that we can grow long hair too. But for me it's a little different.

I was length obsessed my first year. I'd stretch my poor little strands over my forehead almost weekly trying to measure the growth. Somewhere down the line I realized I needed to learn how to care for my hair and not just how to style it.

I'll be the first to admit that I don't have it all the way down...but I've got a good handle on how to keep it healthy. I still need to tweak the way I detangle. I know I've got to deep condition more consistently than I do. Those things are more important to me and my journey. More important now than reaching any length goal. Now don't get me wrong, because I do sort of have a length "goal" in my mind - it's really a volume goal lol. But I know I have to master my hair care routine before I start worrying about getting to that goal, so I'm still taking my time and just enjoying the fact that I have my own beautiful hair on my head :-)

Reversion Anxiety: When Straight Hair Goes Wrong!

Reversion Anxiety: the fear that curls will not pop back after straightening; most often felt by naturals who avoid heat usage; becomes gradually more intense in the days and weeks following a meeting with the flat iron.

So, I decided to straighten my hair and I have to say...I am in LOVE big time! I tried to get a couple of different pictures throughout the process. I pre-pooed with almond oil, olive oil, and Giovanni 50/50 Moisture Conditioner, then shampooed with Giovanni's Avocado-something-something shampoo (yea I forget the name), deep conditioned and detangled with Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose. Then I applied some more almond oil and a bit of Fantasia heat protectant mostly at the ends and twisted it in 4 sections to stretch it without the blow dryer and let it air dry overnight. The next day I hit it with my Chi flat iron. The back section of my hair has a naturally looser curl so I only made one pass, two at most with the other sections and then a quick curl around a very low heat iron. I pin-curled it up and let it set until later that night and - ta-da!

But here's the real deal: while I'm in love with my new 'do the Reversion Anxiety has begun to set in! This morning I went for a walk with my rollers still snugly in place and about midway through I began to feel a bit of sweat on my scalp. At first I prayed for a breeze, hoping that my roots wouldn't end up...well looking like I came off the set of Roots. But then the real anxiety set in...if my roots didn't curl up, would that mean that I had damaged my curls beyond recognition?

My mind immediately flashed back to a conversation I had with Jaz last night about losing my curl pattern in my quest to "heat train" my hair. But with heat training, you retain your some of your curl pattern...with straight up damage it's just gone...no bueno! More importantly - no twist-outs - eek! What's a natural without a good twist-out?

Luckily, while all of this was running through my mind, I remembered that I am still on this journey of finding what works best for my hair. And while I am still learning, I finally do know how to nurse my hair to good health. So with that said, I'm going to enjoy my smooth style and enjoy whipping my hair back and forth while it lasts. And if I end up with some stringy straight ends (shudder) well I'll just have to figure it out when it comes. Our hair is so important to us as Black women, but it is definitely not all of who we are and that's a lesson that is far too important to forget, whether you're Kinky 'N Free or Straight 'N Natural :-)